Since the day the Primary School principal knocked on the classroom’s door to introduce a new war evacuee student in the middle of the school year, I realized that the solid ground beneath us is no longer a haven. Encountering two contradictory educational systems in school and home made me fragmented and alienated . morning prayers and fear of the punishing God at school in one hand and ignoring all those religious social fundamental at the family on the other hand, made me feel disconnected from myself and estranged from others with each passing day. Children who were born into a world of social revolution, and who later experienced cultural revolution and war, were forced to consider many factors when communicating with the world. These children grew up following their parents’ desolate gaze, and were subjected to newly implemented education systems that were designed to monitor and control them. They were the first test cases of a new generation of social and political changes, and the consequences of these events on their minds led them to believe that people were creatures who didn’t know how to play alongside each other.

However, I was a fortunate child and teenager, because as soon as the summer holidays arrived, I was able to shed the weight of this insecure and degrading world. In my father’s agricultural fields, I roamed and breathed freely away from any surveillance system. Among the wheat fields, I found solace in painting, books, and music, which my father encouraged to reconcile me with the outside world. Since then, nature and art have become my best sources of peace and self-awareness. They fill my lungs with life motivation and bustle, allowing me to travel recklessly to the darkest depths of life.

Today, the only thing I believe in is change and doubt. I strive to create anything that can make the dreadful and repeated rhythm of life more tolerable and help me stay afloat in the swamp of life. This is the same indescribable feeling of liberation and thirst for knowledge that I felt during the summer holidays of my childhood. A feeling that came with the absence of disillusionment from failure and calmly surrendering to the unstable phenomena in the world. How sacred this earth would be if humans could always remain like children.